1. Bad enough a teammate was raped, but there's the quinkydink of Master Lloyd himself having narrowly escaped conviction on his own gang rape charge twenty years ago.
2. Thanks to a teammate for pointing out to me comments on the internet by one of Lloyd's blackbelts, "Phil_PROC", as follows:
"Full disclosure: I am a Lloyd Irvin black belt.
Lloyd is an absolutely brilliant BJJ/MMA coach and business man. Our team results speak for themselves. . . . Nothing but a standup guy has he ever been to me and the rest of his students. I've known him for over 15 years. ... It sounds like the evidence is overwhelming for the 2 lowlifes accused of rape. They are scum. They scarred a girl who was a teammate. ...
The trial from 1990 is news to me. This will sound blunt and maybe offensive, but it sounds like a "train was run" on a dirty whore that got to feeling guilty. Bad judgment? hell fuck yes. But not rape. I know this is a touchy subject and I have daughters too. ..."
(And then his signature file appended to his post read "The first rule of combatives training: Thou shalt gear up and bang." Not good.)
Here's Phil Proctor with Lloyd Irvin:
[edited to add: here's the page on the forum where Phil Proctor apologizes to all for his horrible words... well, wait-- he didn't apologize to the RAPE VICTIM...]
3. I have already heard, from people who are apparently talking to TLI members, that the survivor of the NYE rape by Nick Schultz and Matt Maldonado is reputedly the "team whore" who was recently dumped by, or had dumped, one of her rapists.
4. I've even heard a former teammate of mine (!!!!!) explain that that lady is partly responsible for her rape because she was intoxicated that night.
5. And another male friend of mine and fellow jiu jitsu fighter agreed with Phil_PROC up there about the train-running viewpoint.
6. Remember that 17 year old rape victim who violated a court gag order when she revealed the names of the juvenile rapists after they pled guilty? I stopped being friends with another former teammate who insisted that she probably wasn't raped because she got drunk at a party, and kept saying the photos the rapists took of her didn't matter, unless there was video of the rape. (He's semi-on board with the Nick and Matt Assault being a rape, thank God for surveillance cameras.)
First of all--This type of revisionist victim-blaming and shaming is SO typical, it just saddens and appalls me that we're still hearing it. It's like hearing someone use the N word. I give myself whiplash with the take-two on that kind of thinking. What? Seriously??
Second, I don't know Lloyd Irvin, Nick or Matt personally. So I'm not speaking from any special position of knowledge or experience with them. Nor do I have access to transcripts or other evidence and factual support from Lloyd Irvin's rape trial, so I don't know how persuasive Lloyd's 17 year old victim was, etc. I do know that three of the codefendants were convicted of rape... so she couldn't have been terribly incredible by a longshot. Another good article here includes more of the actual evidence about the 97-pound woman's physical trauma... (My personal opinion is that if you get acquitted of a gang rape that you admit you attended and you did nothing to stop, and only didn't "participate" in the sense that you couldn't get an erection and thus did not penetrate her vagina with your penis... you're a rapist just like the dudes who did get it up. But that's just me.)
Third, I suspect that Lloyd did not imbue his "medal chaser" team with any "rape culture." I honestly think it was statistical likelihood that there happened to be a connection like this. It was just dumb luck that a near-rapist coaches rapists. No causal relationship. Some statistics from a really great article you should read:
- Every 2 minutes someone in the US is raped. Over 300,000 and possibly as many as 1.3 million US women and girls over 12 y/o are raped a year.
- Women have a 1 in 5 chance of being raped in their lifetime. Women in college have a 1 in 4 chance of being raped while there.
- 54% of sexual assaults are not reported to the police
Fourth, what in bleeding hell is wrong with men that they can attribute any blame to the survivor in these cases? Don't men get drunk all the time? My former teammate said he'd kick himself if he left his window open and someone came into his house and stole something while he was gone. REALLY??? you're analogizing a woman who was raped after getting drunk on NYE (and responsibly choosing not to drive, but relying on friends for a safe ride home) with leaving your window open? Do you really mean if that happened that you would tell the courts not to punish the burglar so much? or that you'd shoulder some of the blame? And trust me, that girl is kicking herself right now... for trusting her friends. (Not an irresponsible choice, not an unreasonable decision at the time!) But that's irrelevant. We always doubt ourselves when we Monday-morning quarterback. That doesn't mean our decisions were wrong.
The last thing we need is women to feel like they need to dress like nuns, live in lockboxes, and eschew social interaction on par with men. And even that wouldn't protect them from rape.
Maybe it is rape culture in a broader sense, when perfectly nice-seeming ordinary guys can say with a straight face that
- She wanted it and regretted it later
- She was drunk
- She was promiscuous
- She dated one of the rapists
Because what? Men are subhuman creatures unable to control their baser instincts? Men are beasts, determined to dominate and control and we have to limit their opportunities if we women want to be safe?
Bunch of crap, I say.
Was I responsible for my sexual assault because I went to bed alone but tipsy (after celebrating the end of sophomore year finals) and had left my window open two inches on a balmy May night? If my window wasn't open, that asshole who lived in the apartment underneath mine would maybe not have been tempted to come in. Maybe if I wasn't sleeping so heavily, I would have heard him pull off the window screen, open the window, and rummage around in my kitchen getting a towel to gag me with? Therefore it was partly my fault?
Sheesh.
#punchallmeninthehead
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